Nani’s Tea Kettle

Gently Used Stainless Steel Electric Kettle for Sale!

1.7 L capacity with wickedly quick boil technology

BPA-free water gauge in front / Etched Pentagram on back

Great for your morning chai, neighborhood book club meetings, luncheons with the ladies, or solidifying your social standing in the nether realms.

Designed for comfort with auto shut off and a cool touch handle!*

*These features can be truculent at times; proceed with caution.

(Nani kept an oven mitt handy.)

Self-heating! No plugs or adaptors are required!

Incantation for summoning Sozuruk the Caffeinated included.*

*Sung to the tune of ABBA’s “Chiquitita”

(Nani’s favorite song, apparently.)

Requires simply one drop of blood!*

*Don’t keep near your Nani’s glucometer.

Free to a good* home—a devilishly good deal!

$19.99 for everyone else.

*The original home was not so good but promises to improve.

Disclaimers

Not responsible for threats of eternal damnation or stealing of souls

Do not fill with holy water.

Does not take to being exorcized.

Keep out of reach of children.*

*Also: adults of said children, pets, and other sentient species.

Contents may be filled with scalding hot liquids, blood, tears of your enemies and/or other bodily fluids.*

*Amounts vary, so regularly check your family/friends for missing fluids.

No returns.

No one has ever returned.

If you pour slowly you can still smell cardamom and hear Nani asking for biscuits.*

*Tea/Coffee and biscuits not included