Humour - Weekly Features

‘The Astronaut Missed the Moon,’ ‘After the Ghost of Relationships Past Told the Truth’ and ‘Vanishing Point’

Mathieu Cailler


The Astronaut Missed the Moon

so he didn’t remove his spacesuit once he returned to earth. In the spacesuit, he attended his son’s tee-ball game. In his spacesuit, he shopped at Ralph’s and used the coupons his wife left on the counter. In his spacesuit, he fetched the morning paper and grabbed a Grand Slam at Denny’s. In his space suit, the stars danced, the vastness beckoned, and the universe gifted him a passport which he sought to fill with stamps.


After the Ghost of Relationships Past Told the Truth

she was forced to enter the witness protection program. The federal government changed her name to Sadie, which the ghost believed would grow on her. The federal government then moved her to Holderness, New Hampshire, a one-street town near Squam Lake, and purchased her a log cabin two miles from the water. There, her mind no longer swirled with memories of politicians, Ashley Madison, and JLo and Ben. Instead, she spent time observing birds. She foraged for mushrooms. She read cookbooks left by the previous owner. She savored evening strolls along the lake’s shore, where she often stopped to stare at her reflection in the clear water. The ghost was relieved by it all. She could finally focus on herself for once.


Vanishing Point

Nala sat in the hospital’s waiting roomwhile her mother underwent cancer surgery. In front of Nala—in the sterile, bright room—hung a painting of a long dirt path that unfurled into a vanishing point. The sea glittered on the left side of the painting, while oaks bowered along the right. When no one was looking, Nala crawled inside the painting. It was easier than she thought. She walked the path. No hospital beeps, no teal scrubs, no shiny hallways. Just the ocean air lifting her curls, the afternoon sun reviving her body.

When Nala reached the vanishing point, she made a left and spotted her mother sitting on a boulder, shrouded in sea mist. Nala’s father, who’d passed away on Nala’s third birthday, was there, too. Her parents, even from yards away, glowed healthily. They mimicked the call of seals from the beach below and laughed.

Nala tucked behind a tree to give them privacy.


Mathieu Cailler is the author of seven books. His stories, poems, and essays have appeared in over one hundred publications, including the Saturday Evening Post and the Los Angeles Times. He has received several prestigious awards, including a Pushcart Prize, a Short Story America Prize, and accolades from the Paris, Los Angeles, and New England Book Festivals. Connect with him on social media @writesfromla or visit his website at mathieucailler.com.


Featured photo by RDNE Stock project (Pexels)