Nadia Hashimi is not an arsonist, but if she were, she believes patriarchy would make excellent kindling…

3 September 2026

SK: If a detective looked at your browser tabs right now, would they arrest you, call an exorcist, or buy you a weighted blanket?

NH: An exorcist for sure because I’m doing my best to communicate with people who’ve been dead for centuries.

Are your characters named after ancient deities and celestial bodies, or did you just glance at a spice rack and decide ‘Cumin’ sounded heroic?

Thank you for this question. I’m now starting my ninth novel and it’s becoming more of a challenge to find inspiring names but you’ve given me direction. Stay tuned for my next book, The Adventures of Paprika and Peppercorns.

If you could magically delete one trope from existence, which one are you throwing under the bus with zero regrets?

I’m going to answer this one honestly. (What does that say about the rest of my responses?) I cannot stand the raging woman who, having found her beau has wronged her once again, avows she’s done forgiving the arrogant stud and tells him she is done with him forever and – ohhhh, but then he leans in close and the fickle female’s ire melts into smoky lust and they fall into a passionate kiss. This is a vapid and dangerous trope.

If your WIP characters were ghosts, would they help you find your keys or rearrange your furniture to match the mess in your head?

The brilliant copyeditors at William Morrow could answer this question for me because they’re the ones who point out that I’ve left the front door open and we’re out of toilet paper. But the mess is useful chaos and helps lead us to a gratifying reveal.

One word that makes you go feral every time you see it misused?

Religion.

What non-existent job do you wish existed?

Prison guard watching over convicted presidents.

Would you rather find a typo in the first sentence of your freshly published novel or the last?

The last for sure. Let them fall in love before they find out you can’t cook.

Which creature adds more joy to your world: butterflies or geckos?

Geckos all day. I actually get the ick from butterflies whose wings are too thin for my comfort. I know all about the chrysalis and the miraculous metamorphosis they undergo within it but I still see the caterpillar who is essentially a worm with legs. I feel I should delete everything I just wrote but it’s the truth.

If you could teleport, but only to places you’ve tripped and fallen, where are you tripping?

Welcome to my laundry room where we almost had to have a chalk outline drawn on the floor. Housework is so dangerous. Avoid at all cost.

Cursor status: blinking and judgmental or solid and reassuring?

She’s judgmental as hell and as many times as I’ve closed the laptop and left her in the dark, she shows no inclination to change her ways.

What’s the last thing you researched that has probably put you on a government watchlist?

Military grade arms, types of fertilizer used to create an IED (Improvised Explosive Device), and the destructive capability of the most devastating bomb the US has detonated in Afghanistan. My latest, City of Widows, is about women who served in the Afghan Female Tactical platoon hunting down insurgents. All I’ve ever done is mix vinegar with baking soda.

Drafting fuel: coffee, tea, liquor, Haribo or the tears of your antagonists?

I tell everyone I live on coffee and even have social media profile pictures with a cup of joe in my hands but what I’ll never reveal is that I drink a single cup of decaf per day. Anything more turns me into a nervous, jittering mess.

How do you write: sitting like a human or perched like a gargoyle?

I sit on my sofa with my feet up, a steaming cup of cold decaf by my side and with my dog and cat nearby. One watches me with hopeful adoration, the other watches with a calculating, sleepy gaze. If you have pets, you can do the math.

‘Chaos Desk’ or ‘Aesthetic Nook’?

Both. The chaos desk exists but just behind it is the aesthetic nook I maintain for my Zoom calls. COVID taught us all how to fake composure.

Would you prefer a 1-star review that says ‘This changed my life for the worse’ or a 3-star review that says ‘It was fine’?

I’d go for that awful 1-star review because at least that’ll invite some conversation.

Would you rather commit bookish blasphemy by dog-earring the pages of a rare first edition or reading the ending of every book before you start chapter one?

Easy one. It seems my memory isn’t the greatest so I’d rather read the ending. I never remember the endings of movies or books so I’m entirely confident by the time I got to the ending, I’d be reading it for the first time. But also, what was the question?

In a post-apocalyptic world, is your primary contribution navigating by the stars or knowing which snacks stay edible the longest?

Superpower unlocked! I’m so good at ignoring expiration dates. Also, I’ve been known to make a series of wrong turns in a parking lot so the stars might not do much of at all for me.

Who is your ultimate nemesis: the person who types ‘K’ as a full response or the person who leaves 1 second left on the microwave?

I’m confident you’re rage baiting me with this question. I have four kids and one second left on the microwave is awfully close to an empty milk carton in the fridge. If I snap at my children today, it’ll be all your fault.

Is ‘breakfast for dinner’ a symbol of freedom or a sign that society has failed?

An evolved society does not restrict itself with labels. I love a good dinner omelette. On the other hand, the idea of a salad for breakfast is far less appealing so maybe I’m not as egalitarian as I would like to believe.

NADIA HASHIMI – YOU HAVE PASSED THE WRITERS GAUNTLET!

THANK YOU FOR YOUR WIT AND WRITERLY WISDOM!