a wife’s complaint
after Shakespeare
shall I compare you to an AI bot?
you are far less attentive or aware.
you fail to handle context, and are not
developed well for customer care.
with phone in hand, you are AFK in mind;
at least a bot can gather data points
from conversation, utilise to find
solutions while you merely disappoint.
a bot’s sophistication gives replies
adapted, turning smarter with more time,
recalling preferences and then applies
suggestions; you decline and just recline.
so long as I can breathe, my eyes can see
more usefulness in bots than husbands free
proverbs with modern extensions
absence makes the heart grow fonder;
presence makes the eyes not look yonder
actions speak louder than words
unless they are filmed for social media
a journey of a thousand smiles
begins with a single misstep
all good things must come to an end
but the converse does not always hold
a picture is worth a thousand words
of dissent if it is AI-generated
a watch pot never boils;
time to switch to a pressure cooker
birds of a feather flock together;
you wish they can all be taken out at one go
don’t bite the hand that feeds you
unless you are a teething baby
don’t judge a book by its cover
unless you are in a bookstore, with very little time
fortune favours the bold
self-made man who first inherited a fortune
good things come to those who wait
till you have become too old to enjoy them
like father, like son—
in fact, go ahead and like everybody
ode to my wife
my wife always lets me freely connect,
and meets my most human need—base
of new Maslow’s hierarchy; I do not select
open ones with unfamiliar names in case
of entrapment. my wife sends clear, strong
signals, and can be trusted to be stable
(though at times, still erratic) to allow life’s
simple pleasures, for durations short or long;
what fails to work is my phone’s enabled
autocorrect that keeps changing WiFi to wife
following advice
doctor, doctor, I did as I was told—
on everything you said, I was sold!
I followed your advice to eat my greens
and felt better than I have ever been—
kunafa chocolate was quite the bomb
and I ate bars and bars with aplomb;
kueh salat, kueh dadar, ondeh ondeh[1]
were such nutritional choices I must say.
cut my sugar was what I took to heart
now I slice my donuts and cakes apart
before eating; you also said to cut my fat
intake, and I had done exactly that—
with a long knife, on pork knuckle or
sio bak[2]; it also brought out fragrance more.
you instructed me to eat more fruits
and I really went along that route,
faithfully adding durians to every meal
but the one thing I failed, I must reveal:
you said to reduce sodium but the truth is,
in chemistry, that requires electrolysis
[1] “kueh salat”, “kueh dadar”, and “ondeh ondeh” all refer to Malay desserts
[2] “sio bak” translates to burnt meat in Hokkien dialect, and refers to roast pork
fifty shades of gourmet
have it raw, without the dressing
over a bowl of salad greens.
I only want tender breast
on my chicken rice and nothing else;
I see that succulent thigh—
let us quickly get to deboning.
I know you want my meatballs,
and you are in need of a fork.
do you want two? cereal prawn?
maybe have your potato whipped?
say you want my cockles—
can you take a little bit of hum[1]?
one day when we are caught in the buffet,
I will know I pushed the right mutton
when I hear you go yum, kambing[2]!
[1] “hum” is cockle in Hokkien dialect
[2] “kambing” is Malay for goat and refers to mutton
Low Kian Seh holds a chemical engineering degree but is an artist to a greater degree. He is a chemistry teacher by occupation but has poetry as preoccupation. His works have been published in various journals, anthologies, poetry magazines, zines, and online publications. He won the first prize in Singapore’s National Poetry Competition 2019, but he is better known for his twin cinema poem, Singaporean Son, that went viral, twice. He was shortlisted for Sing Lit Station’s Manuscript Bootcamp 2021, and has been hosting Catharsis, an event under the Poetry Festival Singapore, since 2022.
IG: @kianseh
FB: kianseh
Featured photo by Antoni Shkraba (Pexels)
