Zoé Mahfouz
“How come you’re not on the WhatsApp group? Let me add you!” That’s when the nightmare began. This is how they get you. They make you believe that if you’re not in the group, you’ll miss out on everything important. And there’s this seductive, false sense of community. Since I’ve never truly belonged to a community, I was excited about the prospect of finally fitting in.
Then it started. The incessant notifications.
Amy, asking for tomorrow’s location for the dramatic writing class.
Charles, wondering if anyone wants to join him for a screening of Saltburn.
Will, trying to recruit people for a running club.
Cola, posting a video of the Los Angeles fires at 3 a.m., followed by a string of “Take care!” and “Omg, stay safe!!” messages from everyone else, dripping with sincerity.
Gabby, furious about the Outlook calendar not syncing with the school portal.
Charles again, now plagiarizing Saltburn and panicking about whether the school has an AI text detector.
Luca, sharing Friends memes no one but him finds funny.
Abraham, with two extra tickets to Saturday’s Liverpool vs. Fulham match.
Theo, self-declared comedy writer, cracking jokes about the school’s disorganization.
Charles—still him—who forgot to hit “Send” on his assignment, missed the deadline, and is freaking out.
Remy, pushing pro-Kamala articles.
Mycah, hunting for a co-writer for the TV module.
Robyn, wishing everyone a Happy New Year before inviting us to work for free on a “chill, low-budget short film with tons of snacks plus the experience!”
Charles (yes, again), asking about eviction laws in England.
Anastasia, casually sharing TikToks of her drinking matcha, petting her scruffy cat, and reading medieval porn fantasy novels.
Simon, ranting about the Oyster website being down.
And Charles, now in urgent need of £10,000. Honestly, Charles, what is your life?
I think I’ll just leave this group and claim I was hacked.
Zoé Mahfouz is a multi-talented artist—an award-winning bilingual actress, screenwriter, and writer whose works span fiction, nonfiction, and poetry, featured in 20+ literary magazines worldwide. Her comedic scripts, including I Follow You and Commercial Actress, have garnered recognition at festivals like Hollywood Comedy Shorts, Filmmatic, Scriptation Showcase, and Toronto International Nollywood Film Festival.
Featured photo by Alex Green (Pexels)
