Jonaki Ray
“In bed, taut and naked, it creeps into the place of certitude, of love; it says—what are you doing to yourself?”
Thus begins Girls Who Stray, Anisha Lalvani’s debut novel, a book that lingers in your memory long after you have read and put it away. This is an unusual novel first of all because it is in first person, told completely from the perspective of a young woman, A. She is 23, and has returned to India after finishing a degree, predicted to be “useless” in terms of making money or a career out of it, and that has also resulted in a loan that has strained an already difficult relationship with her father. The narrative starts from the point when A has been back a year, met an intriguing, rich, and married property developer, and embarked into an exciting yet simultaneously a dangerous affair.
The story is told in a non-linear, and often tangential manner, where we get to read about the inner mindscapes of A and the landscapes of a rapidly expanding Delhi, especially the Noida and Greater Noida region, and the beginning of a mystery that is hinted at from the very start. A drives through the expressway between Delhi and Noida as well as the by-lanes of the surrounding villages, watching and watched by, “the women in their pallus and bangles, boys in acid-washed jeans, children sucking jellied lollipops … And the nouveau millionaires—the once land-rich farmers sitting cross-legged on charpoys, shadowed by their mansions.” All this is while she is also pinioned by anxiety for something that happened when she met her paramour earlier; something that she expects to be in the news, so she ends up in a strange routine, “…Go back to my car, bang the door shut. Sit back and scan every page, run my finger across every headline, inside and out, for any hint of that Friday night, two weeks ago.” And yet, she ends up meeting her lover, as usual, waiting for her on the bench next to the Ronald McDonald statue, and like always, he has bought her a Happy Meal—an ironic twist.
The book gives one a sense of being on a high-speed train, as we go back-and-forth in time and learn more about the estranged relationship that A has had with her parents, perhaps because it reflects the estrangement between her parents. In the recent past, her mother has decided to move back to Bombay, her father is coping with an impending divorce and retirement, as well as taking care of his father, who is losing his mind gradually and needs a full-time attendant. Amidst this, A dreams of escaping and manages to go England for “an obscure degree in an obscure university in the unstable economy of the West.” She takes up a job in a retail store there, and then just before coming back to India, meets a stranger at a bar, spends the night with him, and when he leaves some money for her the next morning, spends it on new clothes, shoes, and perfumes.
In the exploration of grief and desire, amidst the challenges and dreams of living in a city like Delhi, the novel reminds one of Deepti Kapoor’s A Bad Character, as well as The Private Life of Mrs Sharma by Ratika Kapur. Yet, Girls Who Stray has an edge to it, a raw honesty in the depiction of the central character that makes it distinct, which gained it the critical acclaim since its publishing.
The passages when A comes back to India, realizes that she needs to pay off her education loan, decides to take her experience as an escort forward, and takes photographs of herself uploads them on websites, and meets men who pay her for sex is like watching a surgeon cut through layers of skin and describe what lies underneath. There is a curious detachment even when describing the multiple men A meets, her appointments with the rich guy she is fascinated with, who tells her about his travails of not being happy and difficult relationships with his family, despite having everything, and who eventually becomes abusive towards A.
This detachment persists as she witnesses and is an accomplice to a double murder, even as she keeps watching out for the news of the crime, and eventually manages to extricate herself from the affair. There are moments when she thinks of the child, Muniya, whom she saw being killed, and whose body she helped dispose, and even in the moments she realizes she is pregnant and eventually terminates the pregnancy.
While the book could have done with tighter editing, overall, this is a book that adds to the still rare books about women who are unlikable, yet live their lives according to their own rules. Lalvani’s writing shines in passages where she describes through A’s eyes about the nuances of the people and places around her as well as the undertones within relationships. There is also a subtle but biting humor based on the facades people don to blend in. Consider the description of her time at the university in England and discussions with her peers: “Listening to them, their thoughts articulated in a faux-posh West London accents, a thousand vague ideas pass through my mind every minute…all I can do is muster up some courage and offer some kind of occasional fillers—‘Yes, but Derrida’s deconstructive stance…’”
Last but not the least, at the time the Nithari case is making headlines again, Girls Who Stray is also topical in its depiction of how each of us is complicit in the injustices around us: “And I am a part of the cover-up too, of course, I face myself finally. … Karni Singh is just taking the blame for his boss, just like the poor always have for the rich in this country.”
Jonaki Ray was educated in India (IIT Kanpur) and the USA (UIUC) and graduated with Master’s degrees in Chemistry and Computer Science. Jonaki is now a writer, poet, and editor based in New Delhi, India, and the author of Firefly Memories (Copper Coin, India) and Lessons in Bending (Sundress Publications, USA). Her poetry has been published in journals and magazines including Poetry, Poetry Wales, The Rumpus, Asian American Writers’ Workshop; while her fiction and nonfiction have appeared in Lunch Ticket, Rigorous Journal, Out of Print, and elsewhere. Her essays about culture, literature, and travel have been published in The Hindu BusinessLine, The Book Review, BusinessWorld, Outlook, The Indian Express, and The Times of India (online); and an essay in English (and translated into Portuguese) is forthcoming in an anthology from the University of Lisbon. Read more about her work at https://jonakiray.com.
