CHARACTERS
DAHLIA, a single attractive woman in her 20s, a serial dater, trying to find herself before she finds love.
VINOD, a single man in his 30s, a factory manager, new to the dating game.
BILLU, a homeless man in his 50s, living in the park.
SHLOK, a single man in his 20s, works in a call centre, in love with Dahlia.
Non-speaking characters include two couples, an old man with a walking stick, a person in a hoodie and a runner.
ON RISE, a park. Early evening. Sounds of birds chirping. There is a park bench and further up, a wooden crate. Behind the bench, there is a big dark lump of blanket.
[ENTER, Dahlia.]
[She wears a fancy dress, open sandals and a beach hat. Her tote bag is also beach-ready. She looks around, humming a tune. Takes a mirror out of her bag and inspects her face. Pleased with herself, she snaps it shut and puts it away. Her mannerisms and actions are slightly affected, but in an engaging way.]
DAHLIA (to herself): It’s almost time, Dahlia. Now, take your position.
[She takes off her hat and dusts the bench with it. Sits. Retrieves a book from her bag and begins reading.]
[ENTER, a runner. He waves at Dahlia, who pretends not to have seen him, turns to another direction with her book. Runner trots by and EXITS.]
[ENTER, Billu.]
[Hairy arms stretch out from behind the bench, and slowly, Billu shows himself as he emerges from behind the bench. He is scruffy, with an overgrown beard and matted hair. His feet are bare. Dressed in mismatched clothing: a frayed jacket over a T-shirt with a skull face, and pyjamas, a ladies’ beach hat, similar to Dahlia’s, he stands up, stretches again with a loud yawn.]
[Dahlia, startled, drops her book, and leaps off the bench.]
DAHLIA: AAAH! You! Are you crazy?
[Beat.]
You scared me.
BILLU: AH! It’s the flower come to the park again!
[Billu laughs, goes behind the bench again, picks up a dirty blanket, a hat, and a scarf, and comes around to face Dahlia. He drops his belongings next to the bench and goes back again.]
DAHLIA (angrily): What are you doing here, sneaking around me like that?
[Billu returns with a wooden crate, opens it and takes out a pack of cigarettes and a coffee mug.]
BILLU: Me, sneaking? I was having a perfectly happy dream until you sat on that bench and ruined it. Do you know where I was? In Montecito!
DAHLIA (mockingly): Montecito? Ah! We saw a James Bond movie, did we? Now go away from here.
BILLU: I live here, flower.
[Dahlia turns away purposefully, picks up her book again and settles on the bench.]
[Billu moves away and settles on the wooden crate. He lights a half-burnt cigarette. Takes a drag, coughs and takes another drag again.]
[ENTER, a couple. They see Dahlia, exchange looks. Billu grins and salutes them. The couple passes by and EXITS.]
[Billu settles on the wooden crate. He picks a half-burnt cigarette from the coffee mug, lights it, takes a drag, coughs and takes another drag again.]
[ENTER, Vinod.]
[He is dressed in work clothes and has a very neat and orderly look about him. He takes out his mobile phone and checks the location on a map.]
VINOD (to himself): This must be it.
(clears his throat): Ms Dahlia?
BILLU (sees Vinod): Another one?
(to the audience): Second one of the day!
DAHLIA (demurely, to Vinod): Yes?
VINOD: I’m Vinod. We connected on Tingle?
[Dahlia laughs. Vinod looks smitten.]
DAHLIA: Oh, Vinod? Yes, of course. I recognise you from the photo. So nice of you to find me… I… I mean, so nice to meet you!
BILLU: Sucker.
VINOD: I don’t know what to say. You’re… very pretty.
BILLU: Save that line for later, idiot.
DAHLIA: Would you like to sit here?
VINOD: Sure.
[Vinod sits. He is very conscious of himself, and Dahlia is pleased to have an effect on him.]
DAHLIA: I hope you’re not disappointed.
VINOD: About what?
DAHLIA: You know, how people look different in the dating app photos?
VINOD: Oh, no, no. I should be asking you that question… and you… you look lovelier than your photos. I mean, your photos are lovely also!
DAHLIA (laughs): You’re so sweet!
[Beat.]
Was it difficult to find this park?
[Billu has finished smoking. He checks his pockets. Finds some money that he begins to count.]
VINOD: No, not at all, in fact. The factory is only 20 kilometres from here. I got a ride from my colleague. He lives around these parts.
DAHLIA: Oh, does he? What do you do in the factory?
VINOD (self-deprecatingly): It’s not very exciting… I mean, compared to what you are…I mean, what your profile said. Artist, right?
DAHLIA: Yes, I am.
VINOD: Well, you paint and draw beautiful pictures, while I make schedules… boring stuff, I guess… to track orders. That’s what factory managers have to do.
DAHLIA: Aww… don’t say that. We need factories. What do you make there?
VINOD: We manufacture air-conditioners.
DAHLIA: See! Now, I can’t live without an air-conditioner. Can you?
[Both laugh.]
BILLU (humorously): She can’t live with conditions either!
VINOD: You’re perfect. I mean… you are just the way I imagined you would be. Thank you for agreeing to meet me!
DAHLIA: Aww… you’re not bad yourself, Mr Factory! At least you’re honest. I can’t tell you how fake men are these days.
[Billu perks up at Dahlia’s question. He turns towards them. Unseen by them, he carries the wooden crate closer to them and listens.]
VINOD: Have you… er… gone out on many dates?
[Billu laughs.]
DAHLIA: Oh, no, no, just some… not many.
VINOD: That’s nice.
[Beat.]
I have to admit; I thought it was a bit strange when you said you wanted to meet in a park.
[Dahlia’s expression changes. She looks away.]
DAHLIA: Why? What’s wrong with a park?
VINOD: Huh? No, no, nothing is wrong. You know how parks are… they have a reputation.
BILLU (guffaws): I would say so! The man is not such a fool, after all!
DAHLIA: What do you mean?
VINOD: You know…
[ENTER, a couple holding hands flirtatiously. Vinod nods toward them. Oblivious to Vinod and Dahlia, the couple passes by and EXITS.]
DAHLIA: I don’t understand.
VINOD: Well… Couples… they do things sometimes in public…
DAHLIA: What things?
VINOD: You know… the usual old-school type romantic things… behind bushes… you know what I mean?
DAHLIA (primly): No, I don’t actually.
BILLU (to Vinod): Don’t worry, she won’t do any of those things to you. Your chastity is going to remain intact, whether you like it or not!
DAHLIA (to Billu): Will you stop? Go away from here!
(to Vinod): I don’t know what you’re talking about, Vinod.
VINOD (to Dahlia) I’ll explain. But who is this man? He appears to be very interested in our conversation.
[Vinod gets up and faces Billu.]
DAHLIA: He’s a lunatic.
VINOD (to Billu): Who are you? Why are you listening to our conversation? And what’s with all your comments, bro?
BILLU (mimics): ‘Why are you listening to our conversation?’
(sarcastically) Because you’re more entertaining than Shah Rukh Khan… or maybe because you were just sitting on my bloody bench!
VINOD: You’re mad.
BILLU: Of course, I’m mad! How else would I stay sane in this park? The park is no place for dating, but look at you… idiots! Even you would know that… or don’t you? Who comes to a park on a first date? Think!
[Beat.]
Oh! Is it your… first date ever? Ah! I knew it. Flower knows how to pick them! (laughs) I tell you… ask her out to dinner. Isn’t that what people do on dates? Go to a restaurant? Or a coffee house? Go on, ask the flower. And… shall we bet on it? She will say no… then you give me a hundred bucks, okay? I’m out of Gold Flakes.
VINOD: What?
(to Dahlia): Dahlia, do you know this guy?
DAHLIA: No, I don’t! Why would I know a vagabond? Don’t listen to him, Vinod. He lives in this park, unfortunately, and causes trouble for people. Go away, Billu! You’re ruining my date!
BILLU: Ah ha! See! She knows me. She said my name! As if she needs help with ruining anything! Look, I bet you another hundred bucks. That makes it two hundred, bro. Ask her out. See what happens.
VINOD: What will happen?
BILLU: Nothing!
[Billu laughs. Dahlia gets anxious and goes over to Vinod.]
VINOD: What’s he saying, Dahlia?
BILLU: She will turn you down, you fool! That’s what I am saying! And only I know why.
DAHLIA: Ignore this idiot, Vinod! Let’s take a walk. I want to spend some quality time with you.
VINOD: That’s… that’s a great idea. Yes… I think we should get out of here. May I take you out to dinner? There’s a nice restaurant outside the park. We can stop being followed.
DAHLIA (hesitantly): Dinner?
BILLU: Yes! Dinner! Dinner, flower?
VINOD (to Dahlia): It would be my pleasure to take you to dinner.
DAHLIA: I… I don’t do dinners, Vinod.
VINOD: Oh. Okay.
[Beat.]
My colleague said, usually women like to meet a few times over coffee or dinner… Of course, I wouldn’t know… so… Anyway, I thought we’d really hit it off, so… anyway, how about a coffee? There’s a nice coffee shop in the mall next to the movie theatre.
BILLU: Ah ha! Get ready for the two hundred bucks flying into your airspace, Billu!
DAHLIA (awkwardly): I don’t do coffee either.
BILLU (to the audience): Tonight, I’ll sleep on a full stomach.
(to Vinod): My two hundred, mister Romeo?
VINOD (to Billu): Shut up! I’m not giving you anything! And be quiet!
(to Dahlia): You… you don’t like me, Dahlia? Or trust me?
[Billu guffaws.]
DAHLIA: No, no, it’s nothing like that. Of course, I trust you! And I like you!
[Beat.]
It’s just that I like to meet in the park. You know? Stroll? It’s so romantic! Like the Victorian times.
(dreamily) Listen to the birds… can you hear them? And see that setting sun? Isn’t that just divine? Let’s walk, hand in hand?
BILLU: The beginning of the end.
VINOD (to Billu): Will you shut up?
(to Dahlia): So we walk… and then?
DAHLIA: Then? Well… we should get to know each other. Do you know the benefits of walking?
[ENTER, an old man with a walking stick. Vinod glances at him. The old man EXITS.]
VINOD: I’d like to… at seventy.
BILLU: She’s been walking for a while now. If you slip me another two hundred, I’ll tell you the names of some walkers.
[Vinod turns and glares at Billu.]
VINOD: What?
DAHLIA: Don’t believe him. He’s half in love with me. Let’s go, please. There’s a nice path there.
BILLU: She’s right about the paths.
VINOD (to Dahlia): What are the Victorian times, by the way?
DAHLIA: Oh, it’s just history! Let’s go, Vinod.
[She links her arm into his.]
VINOD: Are you always in this park?
DAHLIA: No! Of course, not! Walking helps me think and… and… I’m an artist. I love nature. What’s wrong with the park, anyway?
[ENTER, Shlok with a bunch of flowers.]
SHLOK: Dahlia!
DAHLIA: You!
VINOD: Who’s this?
SHLOK: I’m Shlok. Who are you?
BILLU (to Vinod): He’s the first one from this week. Earlier today, in fact! Give me another hundred, and I’ll give you the body count and the whole story of the past year!
DAHLIA: Shut up, Billu!
VINOD: Dahlia… I don’t understand. Are you… Are you seeing someone else?
BILLU (sniggers): It’s called double-dating.
DAHLIA: It’s not as bad as what this lunatic makes it out to be.
[Beat.]
I… I meet people here… not for the bushes… for the conversations. A new study shows that people are different outdoors.
SHLOK: Dahlia, who’s this man?
DAHLIA: Shlok, go away! I told you I don’t do more than one date.
VINOD: What?
BILLU (to Shlok): Are those new walking shoes?
SHLOK: Yes, they are! What’s your problem?
(to Dahlia): But, Dahlia… how are we to bond in one date?
BILLU: Good question!
VINOD (to Dahlia): I thought you liked me. You didn’t plan to see me again?
DAHLIA: What? No, no, I did. I do! I can explain why I do it this way. Please give me a chance!
SHLOK: Dahlia, I came back with new walking shoes. Please give me another chance!
BILLU (to Shlok): You’ll have to give those away to me.
VINOD: I think I’ll go now. This is very hurtful.
[Beat.]
Goodbye, Dahlia.
DAHLIA: No, wait! Vinod! Wait! We’ve not even walked… or talked! I think you’re the one!
BILLU (to Vinod): Hey! Wait! And what about my five hundred? Four hundred?
[Vinod EXITS.]
DAHLIA (to Billu): Look what you’ve done!
SHLOK: Dahlia…
DAHLIA: Go away!
[Shlok leaves the flowers on the bench and EXITS.]
BILLU (calls after Shlok): The shoes? Will you need them now?
[RE-ENTER, Shlok. He takes off his shoes and gives them to Billu and EXITS.]
[Dahlia sits on the bench very disturbed, starts to cry. Billu sits also, but further down. The flowers lie between them.]
[ENTER, a person in a hoodie. Takes the flowers and EXITS.)
BILLU (picks his teeth): Experiments fail sometimes, flower.
DAHLIA: Don’t speak to me! I hate you! (sobs) He was almost perfect… and now… now I’ll never know. I will never find my soulmate.
BILLU: No, you won’t… not in a park, anyway. It’s easier in a bar these days, flower. I’ve been telling you this for months now. (curiously) Are you using this bench again next week?
DAHLIA: No!
[Still crying, she gets up and starts to walk away.]
BILLU: Good. Thirty-seven, then?
DAHLIA: Maybe!
BILLU: Yeah, the walking paths around bench number thirty-seven are better. I can stay right here, flower… don’t worry.
[Dahlia, still crying, EXITS.]
BILLU: If it makes you feel better, I won’t tell on you again! But last time you told me to help… so I got confused. Flower?
[Billu lies down on the bench, covers himself with the blanket and goes to sleep.]
[RE-ENTER, Dahlia. She goes over to Billu, drops a five hundred on his covered form, and EXITS.]
[Billu takes out his hand from under the blanket and takes the money.]
BILLU (peeks from under the blanket and speaks to the audience): She’s always emotional after the experiment. (kisses the money) Until next week, flower!
Curtain.
Arpita Bhawal is a writer, playwright and creator. Her first short story, The Birthday Party, was published in 2009 (The Shrinking Woman and Other Stories). In 2014, her debut anthology of shorts, Vices of Eden, received rave reviews on Amazon. The Good Book Corner published Arpita’s 1975 – A Love Story in 2016. Arpita is working on her third after a long hiatus from writing. She lives in Bangalore, India.
Instagram: ab.thewriterlife
X: @bonginexile
Website: www.arpitabhawal.com
Featured photo by Ahmet Polat (Pexels)
